


Brand New Boy

by Lynn1998



Category: IT - Stephen King
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - After College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - No Pennywise (IT), Flirting, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Richie Tozier Loves Eddie Kaspbrak, Trans Eddie Kaspbrak, Trans Male Eddie Kaspbrak, like mid 20s, mentions of dysphoria, mentions of menstrution
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-19
Updated: 2019-11-19
Packaged: 2021-02-13 04:14:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,294
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21488176
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lynn1998/pseuds/Lynn1998
Summary: Eddie runs away and leaves everyone behind so he can pursue his transition. A few years later, he finds himself talking to an old friend who doesn’t know who Eddie really is.
Relationships: Eddie Kaspbrak & Richie Tozier, Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier
Comments: 14
Kudos: 402





	Brand New Boy

**Author's Note:**

> I normally write klance and smut so this is a little different. I love reddie and I love this stupid demon clown movie and I’ve been binging reddie fan fiction so I decided to write this up really quickly.
> 
> I have plans for more Reddie, and if you’re a regular reader of mine I still have a lot of klance fics I need to post so don’t worry I’m not abandoning my babies.
> 
> Okay that’s all ty

Eddie lost touch with the group once he turned eighteen. For some reason he convinced himself that it would be for the best, but he still missed them all everyday. He especially missed Beverly and all their private conversations judging all the rowdy teenage boys in their friend group, and he missed Richie and his terrible sense of humor. Actually the more he thought about it he missed Bill’s stutter, and he missed Stans calm demeanor. Mikes easy-going farm boy attitude, and Ben’s secret stash of boy band merch. He missed all of it and it was killing him to stay way.

He had a reason for cutting them off. It wasn’t exactly a great reason, but he was too scared to tell them the truth. They still knew him as Ellie. The snarky germaphobe with long soft hair always pulled back into a neat pony tails. Wide doe eyes comparable to a model on a fashion magazine, and soft skin that even made Beverly jealous. Ellie was the last memory they all had of him, and he had no idea how to change that.  
  
First thing he did when he was eighteen was move in with his favorite aunt. She had allowed Eddie to confide in him and accepted him when he told her he never had any intentions of continuing his life as a girl. So he hopped on a bus up to Connecticut, and started embarking on his medical journey as soon as possible. His aunt supported him the best she could while he worked through college, but he paid for every last doctors visit, every prescription, and his surgery cost. It wasn’t easy, but being able to walk to work feeling at home in his body for once in his life was worth every late night and early morning he suffered through.

Beverly was really the only person Eddie managed to hold on to. He never really talked to her, but he kept tabs on her instagram page. She was in New York studying fashion, and posted enough about her personal life for Eddie to learn Richie was rooming with her while they made it through college. He had his own podcast that was doing phenomenal online. Sometimes Eddie would find a clip of it on his explore page, and just hearing his voice again brought a smile to his lips. He wondered if they ever thought about him.

It came time for Eddie to graduate, and once he did he was happy to receive a job almost immediately out of school. Thankfully they were accepting of his gender, and didn’t make anything complicated or difficult for him. He worked as an editor at a sister location to a big New York company. It was easy enough to clock in, report to his superiors, and go through a list of tasks to be completed. He loved the simplicity of it, and he loved the fact that he was away from his mother and so close to finally being completely on his own. His aunt was more than proud of him when he got the keys to his first apartment, and gladly helped move his things in for him. She never spoke to Sonia much, so it was easy to keep him a secret.

For a couple of years Eddie was content living his new life. There wasn’t any drama or craziness, and he passed so well his coworkers never suspected he might’ve been born a woman. The only person who knew was his boss, and she promised to keep it a tight lipped secret unless he wanted to come out. He had no desire to do so. Everything was absolutely perfect…until one crazy day in the office.

He was typing away at his computer, finishing up the last page of his second task of the day, when he heard whispers throughout the office. He looked around the different cubicles, and spotted two figures. One held a camera over their shoulder, and the other had a familiar mop of curly dark hair. Eddie furrowed his brows and squinted at the man with dark hair before shaking his head and turning back to his work. He had to stop getting so anxious around anyone who remotely looked like Richie. He should just accept that they’re never going to cross paths again. His fingered continued typing away as he could hear the man being filmed coming closer and closer. 

“Obnoxious…” Eddie muttered to himself. Suddenly there was a microphone in front of his face and he looked up at an all too familiar grin and thick-framed glasses.

“Care to repeat that?” Richie asked. Eddie blinked up at him with wide eyes.

“Richie Tozier,” he breathed. A laugh ripped through the other man, and Eddie quickly shook his head.

“A star struck fan, I see. What’s your name?” Richie continued.

“E-Eddie,” he stuttered.

“How long have you been listening to the podcast, Eds?” He passed the mic between them in a rather annoying way. Eddie glanced at the camera before frowning.

“It’s Eddie, and I only listen to the highlights on Instagram,” he confessed. Richie hissed.

“Damn, really? Instagram highlights? You gotta subscribe to the whole thing on Apple podcasts! It’s _so_ much better with context,” he said. Eddie wasn’t quite used to Richie promoting himself, but he supposed it came with the territory.

“I think I’ll stick to the highlights. Listening to you talk too long will make me lose brain cells,” Eddie jabbed, effortlessly falling into their old back and forth bickering from before he ran off.

“Oof, that’s not what your mom said last night, Eddie spaghetti,” Richie said with a particular curve to his lips Eddie remembered all too well from their high school days. Funny how Richie probably had no idea who he was talking to. Eddie crinkled his nose at the joke Richie made.

“Gross. Don’t talk about my mom like that, Rich,” he said.   
  
The entire conversation was almost a word for word replica of their many conversations throughout their childhoods. The nickname rolled off his tongue effortlessly as well. As if no time had really passed at all. Richie was silent for a moment and looked up to see him staring at him hard with pinched brows.

“Is…is the interview over? I…” he glanced at the camera again. “…I have a lot of work to do,” he stammered. Richie let the mic hang limp in his hand as he leaned in to look at Eddie closer.

“Have we met before?” He asked studying Eddie’s features. A blush invaded his cheeks, and Eddie could only hope the testosterone changed his face enough to throw him off. Eddie shook his head. “You remind me of someone…”

“I-I…I just have one of those faces,” he replied. Richie stood there staring at him for a little longer before pulling his phone out and handing it to Eddie.

“Gimme a number or a username. Either one is fine,” he requested. Eddie raised a brow, but took the device anyways.  
  
“Do you normally get everything you want?” Eddie asked and handed the phone back after finding himself on Instagram. Richie took the device with a smirk.

“If things go right with you, I can officially say I do,” he replied with a wink. Eddie’s blush deepened, and he looked back to his computer while shaking his head.

“I’ll see you around, Eds!” Richie called as he moved onto his next victim. Eddie huffed a laugh and shook his head. Always a player.

“Did Richie Tozier just ask you for your phone number?” His neighbor asked.

“I guess. I just gave him my Instagram,” he replied. 

The only thing that had him in awe about Richie was the fact that it had been so long since he’s seen him. Other than that he didn’t understand the gossip running around. It was just Richie.

“Are you even into guys? You should totally hook up with him if you are,” his neighbor encouraged. Eddie looked up to watch the rest of Richie’s charade and smiled.

“I think…he just wants to be friends.”

Richie did not just want to be friends. Eddie really shouldn’t have been surprised. From what he remembered Richie always flirted with him when they were younger. He hooked up with Beverly a few times, but the two of them only had platonic love for each other. Still, Eddie didn’t want to be apart of that while it was happening. His own heart wasn’t prepared to share Richie like that, and he doubted Richie really saw him as more than just a reserved sheltered chick he could have a lot of fun with. Despite knowing all his lines and his antics, Eddie couldn’t help but be surprised with how his approach had changed. Or perhaps men just have it easier in dating and being courted. Shame.

The minute Eddie opened the Instagram app he had forgotten he gave Richie his username. The rest of the day had been so busy and he was distracted after his boss announced Richie was partnering with the company to publish his first book. Eddie didn’t know how to feel about it, and tried to drown himself in work. He couldn’t shake the feeling like he was being watched and, sure enough, when he looked up he met Richie’s eyes from across the room. Instead of being met with some ridiculous finger guns or a wink, Richie looked away and even started blushing. Eddie froze. He’s never seen Richie act like this before.

He only got around to opening the app when he was in the middle of cooking himself dinner. With his pasta boiling, there wasn’t much to do anyways, so he opened his phone and poured himself a glass of wine. He nearly spat it out when he found that Richie had already liked a select few of his photos and messaged him a few times. Eddie also forgot that he wasn’t following Richie in the first place, and did that first.

TrashMouthInc: damn, you got a nice feed. Very married to your job and cheating with Merlot

TrashMouthInc: although I like the three selfies you have in the mix.

TrashMouthInc: you should post more so I can see your face everyday

Eddie gulped his wine as he read and groaned as he realized how much he had sabotaged himself. Really? He gave Richie his Instagram? His number would’ve been a way better option. He didn’t even have fifty followers so he posted things he thought his aunt and his co-workers would enjoy. This was such a bad idea. He got another message before he could even think to formulate a response.

TrashMouthInc: wait, you’re a fan but you weren’t even following me????

TrashMouthInc: I’m heart broken :((

He sent a heart broken gif and Eddie merely shook his head. He smiled into his glass and started to type a reply, but quickly had to tend to his pasta when it started to bubble over. Once he got to a place where he could pause again, he picked up his phone and finished the reply.

Eddie_is_clean: sorry. I told you I just listen to the highlights

Eddie_is_clean: also stop stalking my page

TrashMouthInc: he lives! I was worried you just gave me a fake account haha

Eddie_is_clean: I’m cooking

TrashMouthInc: what’s for dinner babe?

Eddie_is_clean: macaroni. And don’t call me babe

TrashMouthInc: sounds good baby <3

Eddie rolled his eyes and turned his attention back to his dinner. He finished it up and plated it before taking a nice picture of it for his aunt. Of course he included the wine in the shot, and then put his phone in his pocket and ate.  
  
The next week or so at work was kinda hectic. Richie has an unfinished manuscript that he wanted help finishing, but that was left to their sister company down in New York. He was spending time in the Connecticut location for his show and his YouTube channel. Since they weren’t as busy, management sent him over here to annoy the staff instead of the New York branch. Eddie felt like that was a little distasteful, but decided it wasn’t the worst thing. It was kinda nice to see his co-workers light up because there was a semi-celebrity on the rise in the building. He also kinda liked seeing Richie again and knowing he was doing well for himself. In fact he couldn’t help but feel proud of him when he wasn’t being extremely obnoxious and annoying.

“I’ve been here for the good portion of a week, and I really think I’m starting to blend in with the people here,” Richie spoke to the camera as he walked into the break room. Eddie idly sipped his coffee at the counter as he glanced at him over his shoulder. “Hey Eds!” He greeted with a grin. Eddie shook his head and turned back to his phone.

“It’s Eddie. Not Eds,” he corrected again. Richie was always making stupid nicknames for people. What was even worse was when he tried to figure out your full name if it was a nickname. Luckily Eddie changed his name to just that. Eddie.

“My apologies, good sir. How are you doing this fine evening?” Richie asked as he approached him and leaned his elbow on the counter. Eddie glanced at the camera and was relieved to see the camera man had turned away to watch the footage.

“It’s nine thirty in the morning,” Eddie replied and then sipped his coffee again.

“Hm, I suppose you’re right. When are you off?” He continued sounding a little eager.

“It’s a nine to five job, Rich,” Eddie snarked. 

“Damn…any chance I could talk you into letting me take you to breakfast?” He proposed. Eddie shot him a glare.

“I _just _clocked in half an hour ago,” he deadpanned. Richie shrugged.  
  
“We could tell your boss it’s for a one on one interview. Seeing inside the mind of an employee at the company I hired to edit and publish my book,” Richie suggested with a giddy smile. Eddie couldn’t help but laugh at that and shake his head.

“Sorry, but I have a lot of work to do actually. Incase you didn’t know, we have a big client in, and he’s kind of a handful,” he teased. Richie pouted and inched a little closer.

“Aw, are you talking about me? Baby, you’re breaking my heart,” he said. Eddie shook his head and drank the last of his coffee before walking around him to rinse the mug out in the sink.

“Maybe another time. When we’re _both_ off the clock,” Eddie said eying the cameraman who was patiently waiting for instructions. Richie lit up.  
  
“Yeah? How about Saturday?” He asked. Eddie sighed. Did he really have the strength to avoid him? It didn’t feel right leading him on knowing what he didn’t know. Still, he always had a weakness for Richie.

“Sure. Just message me where to meet you,” he gave in. 

“Hell yeah!” Richie pumped his fist and then held it up for a high five. Eddie merely laughed and turned to return to his desk.

“Psssst…you talking to Richie?” His neighbor whispered. He shrugged.

“More like he was talking to me,” he mumbled and glanced at the break room. Richie could be seen looking through the fridge and talking to the camera through the window.

“So are you guys gonna hook up?” They asked. Eddie looked back to them and then rolled his eyes.

“He wants to take me out to breakfast,” he answered simply.

“Dude! That’s super cute!” They exclaimed. Eddie shrugged.

“I guess so…”

Richie sent him the address Friday night. He then sent a winky face emoji as well as an okay hand sign, an eggplant, and then a water droplet emoji. Eddie blushed at that and then shook his head at his phone.

Eddie_is_clean: in your dreams

TrashMouthInc: you’ve been in all of my dreams recently baby. I’m tryna get you out of them and in my bedroom ayeeee

Eddie raised an eyebrow at that, but then got distracted when he realized he got a new follower. His breath hitched as he saw Beverly’s username in his notifications, and felt his eyes sting with tears. No way…there was no way…

TrashMouthInc: also uh my mom friend kinda insisted on following you to see what you were about

TrashMouthInc: but she does that with everyone I talk about whether I wanna bone then or not

TrashMouthInc: which idk maybe we could do more than that?????

TrashMouthInc: like uh normal dating ?? ???? I think?¿

TrashMouthInc: also Bev told me you already follow her. What’s the deal? I’m on her story all the time!

Eddie was struggling to hold back tears as he saw Beverly like a couple of his photos. He had missed her so much and it was hard to resist messaging her right away and telling her everything. They had spent so much time together and she had helped him with a lot of the discomfort of being a girl. He never told her about his dysphoria, but she was typically the one to hold him through his periods and comfort him when he was forced to wear dresses. She was truly one of his best friends and she only saw him as a stranger.

TrashMouthInc: also she says you pass the vibe check and she wants the recipe for that smoked salmon you posted

Eddie took a deep breath and sniffled and he tried to still the shaking of his fingers. He managed to type out a reply with only minimal typos. It still wasn’t exactly what he wanted to say, but he was too overwhelmed.

Eddie_is_clean: glasad I passed the friend check. We’ll see about everything else later, okay? I’ll see you tomorroe

TrashMouthInc: sounds good!! I’ll see you at ten am?

Eddie_is_clean: sounds good

The next morning Eddie didn’t feel too great. He was nervous nauseous, but that was expected. What he wasn’t expecting was the hit-by-a-truck feeling and the heaviness in his eyes. It had been a long time since he had cried himself to sleep, so when he did it for the first time since high school it was kinda hard on him. He still got dressed and tried to clean himself up regardless, and was thankful to only have a little puffiness left over. Hopefully Richie wouldn’t notice. He left for the diner that was within walking distance, and was pleased to see Richie already grabbed them a booth when he walked in. He spotted Eddie almost immediately and waved at him with a bright smile. Eddie smiled back and sat across from the other man.

“Good morning,” he greeted.

“Good morning, Eddie spaghetti. How do you do this fine morning?” Richie asked. Eddie shrugged and opened the menu sat in front of him.

“Alright. A little tired, but not too drained. Glad it’s the weekend,” he answered.

“Damn. Am I working you guys too hard? I thought the New York branch was doing most of the work since they have more people,” Richie said. Eddie giggled a little and shook his head.

“High profile clients are always gonna be a little more work, but that’s not the case. Although a little less interruptions for your YouTube show might be nice,” he replied. Richie smiled at him, and Eddie’s heart did a flip.

“Why would I stop that? I know you like it, baby,” he said. Eddie let out a sigh and shook his head. It was nice to see that Richie hadn’t changed a bit.

“You’re so full of it, Rich,” he replied simply. 

He then felt fingers against his chin and allowed the other man to tilt his head up. Richie was looking at him with that same intense and curious gaze from the first time they interacted in the office, and Eddie felt himself get nervous again. His brows pinched as he took in all of Eddie’s features, and Eddie could see him rack his brain, trying desperately to remember where he had seen Eddie before.

“Are you sure we’ve never meet before?” He asked. Eddie looked away shyly, but Richie held him in place.

“Uh…not that I know of…” he lied. Richie pursed his lips and let him go. He leaned his elbow on the table.

“I guess you just remind me of someone then,” he said.

“W-who?” Eddie stuttered. Richie bit his lip and he suddenly looked very solemn.

“Uh…she was an old friend of mine. She was in my little group back in high school, and…” he chuckled to himself. “…she had a sense of humor like you. I miss her sometimes.” Eddie felt his heart clench. His lungs starting to pump air faster, and he craved his inhaler that he knew did absolute jack shit. So he cleared his throat instead.

“What…what happened to her?” He asked. Richie shrugged.

“I dunno. She disappeared the day she turned eighteen and we never heard from her again. No texts or calls or anything like that. I just hope that she’s okay wherever she is,” Richie told him. Eddie felt his eyes sting and he couldn’t breath again. God, did they all think he was dead? Were they all worried he wasn’t okay?

“O-oh…” his voice cracked, and Richie looked up with a concerned look on his face.

“Eddie? Are you okay?” He asked. Tears were starting to leak down Eddie’s face and he quickly wiped them off before moving out of the booth.  
  
“I…I-I should get going. I just remembered I have to clean my house today,” he said.

“What? Right now? What’s going on, why are you crying?” Richie asked standing up as well. Eddie wiped more tears and sniffled.

“I just…i-it’s nothing. I’ll see you later,” he said before walking off and then almost running out the diner.

When he got home he finally came to terms with the fact that he couldn’t do this. He couldn’t just lie to all his friends like this and pretend to be someone else. It hurt him too much and he missed them too much. All he wanted to do was embrace his old friend, not get to know who he already knows. He sobbed on his couch and reached for his phone. Richie has messaged him, of course, but he ignored him in favor of typing out a message to Beverly instead.

Eddie_is_clean: hhey, I have a favor to ask of you

BevtheMarsh: oh hi! You’re Richie’s friend, right?

That stung. She was his friend too.

Eddie_is_clean: yeah, that’s actually why I’m messaging you. Could we possibly meet in person? I need help telling him something

BevtheMarsh: absolutely sweetheart! Are you free today? I’m actually pretty close to Connecticut right now.

Eddie_is_clean: yes. Just let me know where to meet you

BevtheMarsh: Okay, I’ll see you soon :)

Eddie sat in the coffee shop Beverly told him to meet her at and nervously sipped his coffee. It wasn’t helping his nerves that much, but the warmth helped comfort him a little. Bev told him she would be another ten minutes or so, and he let her know it was no biggie and that she was probably traveling farther than him. Twelve minutes had passed before he saw her walk in the shop, and he was choked up again just seeing her bright eyes and freckles again. She had kept her hair short, and she was layered in an outfit only a true fashion designer could put together. She spotted him after surveying the shop, and then walked over to greet him. He watched her with big watery eyes, and she frowned as she noticed he was on the verge of crying.

“Hey…uh, Eddie, right?” She asked. He sniffled and nodded, snapping his eyed away and wiping them away.

“Yeah…sorry. I just…I’m going through something right now,” he admitted.

“Is it about Richie? Did he say something to you? I swear he’s a really sweet guy once you get past the asshole-“

“I know, Bev,” he interrupted. She blinked at him and took a seat.

“Oh…I didn’t know you two were already so close,” she said. Eddie took a shaky breath and then looked at her. Memories of all their late night talks and sleepovers flooded his brain and he wanted to cry all over again.

“I know…I know him, Bev. I know that he was scared of the dark all through high school, and that Trashmouth is his childhood nickname. I know that he’s got a scar on his left thigh from that time you guys were climbing apple trees in Derry,” he blurted. Beverly blinked with wide eyes.

“Shit…you’re a super fan, aren’t you?” She asked. Eddie blinked and furrowed his brows.

“What? No, I _know _him because I was _there_. I know _you_, Bevy! I miss you everyday,” he confessed. Beverly looked at him closely and her brows knit in confusion. 

“I’m sorry…I-I think this was a mistake,” she said pulling away. Eddie quickly took her hands and looked her in the eyes.

“It’s _me_, Bevy. It’s Ellie. I ran away from my mom when I turned eighteen and I was living with my aunt all through college. It’s me, Elizabeth Kaspbrak,” he told her. Bev’s eyes went wide and her jaw dropped. She was silent for a moment before reaching up at caressing Eddie’s cheek.  
  
“Ellie…from highschool?” She asked.

Eddie nodded desperately and pulled out his phone. He hastily opened his photos app and scrolled to the earliest pictures. There were old selfies of him and Bev from their sleepovers in sophomore year, and group photos of the entire losers club. He had pictures of when he first cut his hair and started wearing men’s clothing. His first picture after surgery. Every picture he needed to prove who he was he went through and showed to Beverly, and she could only gape at them in shock.

“I didn’t know how to tell you guys…and I just ran away, and I thought I could just move on, but…” he sniffled. “I miss you guys so much, a-and I feel stupid for thinking you guys wouldn’t want to be there for that part of my life, a-and now Richie doesn’t recognize me but he said I remind him of Ellie and he didn’t know what happened and he hoped I was okay, and…I-I’m so sorry if you guys ever thought I was dead or that I was mad at you or that I-“ he stopped talking when Bev wrapped him up in a big hug. He let out a stuttered breath and hugged her back.

“Oh, Eddie…I didn’t know what to think. You never said anything and then you were just gone. Like you never even existed,” she sounded watery herself, and Eddie gave her a gentle squeeze.

“I’m so sorry,” he gasped and nuzzled her warm jacket. She then pulled back with a big smile.

“Oh my gosh! We have to tell the others! They’ll be so happy to hear you’re okay!” She said. Eddie felt his heat leap.

“You guys all still talk to each other?” He asked. She nodded.

“They’re not close by anymore, but we all chat and meet up every so often. Sometimes we’d speculate on what you were doing and make jokes,” she told him. That warmed his heart.

“Shit…that’s nice to hear.”

“Oh, but you should tell Richie in person first,” she told him. Eddie nodded in agreement.

“Yeah, I was thinking the same thing. I wouldn’t want him to find out from a group chat that the guy he’s been chatting up was really one of his childhood friends,” he agreed. Bev nodded and gently touched his shoulder.

“That too, but…Eddie…Richie took it really hard when you left,” she told him. He blinked at her.

“He…oh…”

“He was planning on asking you out after graduation…like _properly_ ask you out. He wanted to take you on a real date and court you like he thought you deserved. I don’t want to upset you, but it…it really crushed him,” she informed him. Hearing that made Eddie’s eyes water again.  
  
“Ugh! That was so stupid of me! I should’ve called you guys,” he whimpered. Beverly rubbed his back.

“It’s okay, Eddie. It’s not easy going through what you went through, but you’re here now,” she assured him. He sighed.

“I didn’t know what to do when I saw him, and he was just so _charming _like he’s always been, a-and…fuck.”  
  
“I know. The boy’s a charmer, but we should probably tell him sooner than later. He called me a little earlier telling me what happened at the diner,” she confessed. Eddie nodded. He was expecting that.

“Okay. I’ll…I’ll head back upstate, and figure it out,” he said. Beverly smiled and took his hand.

“Thank you for telling me…I missed you,” she told him. Eddie smiled back and nodded.

“I missed you too, Bevy.”

Eddie was scared to message him, and with the taxi ride back to his apartment being so short he couldn’t think of what to say. He sat at his kitchen counter staring at his Instagram messages, and eventually groaned and poured himself a glass of wine. Once the drink met his lips he felt a little calmer and opened up the messages Richie sent him after he ran off. He ignored them in favor of typing his own message.

Eddie_is_clean: sorry I ran off earlier. If you have time, could you possibly come over? I have something I need to tell you

TrashMouthInc: Eddie! I’m so glad you’re alive!

TrashMouthInc: and trust me, I have all the time in the world for you baby ;)

Eddie smiled and then sent him his address. He then set his phone down and waited for his friend to come over. In the mean time he tried to pace himself on the wine, but ended up drinking the glass faster than he had intended. He put it in the sink and shook his head to try and not let it get to him after drinking so fast. Thankfully he only had a little bit of dizziness, but he was thinking clearly still. He sat on his couch and hugged a throw pillow to his chest as he waited, and almost nodded off when he heard a knock at him door. Nerves took over his body again, and he stiffly got up to open the door. Richie was there, as expected, but he was holding a small bouquet of flowers with him. Eddie smiled at that, still holding his pillow, and then giggled.

“Sorry, I uh…you were crying earlier and I wanted to cheer you up,” he said offering the flowers. Eddie sniffled and set the pillow to the side to accept the flowers.

“Thank you…you’ve…you’re really sweet,” he said and lead him inside. Richie closed the door behind him and kicked off his shoes.

“See? I’m _not_ just a corny guy with a microphone,” he joked. Eddie grabbed a vase from his cupboard and gave him a smile over his shoulder.

“I know, Richie,” he replied and filled it with water. He then put in the plant food and placed the bouquet in it.

“Uh…so what did you want to tell me?” Richie asked stepping into the kitchen. Eddie sighed and then faced him.  
  
“…I’m really sorry, Richie,” he whispered. Richie laughed nervously.

“Uh…for what? D-did I say something, or-“

“No, Richie it’s nothing like that. I just…” he cut himself off with a sigh and wrapped his arms around himself as he leaned against the counter. “…I haven’t been completely truthful with you…that’s why I’m sorry,” he explained vaguely. Richie seemed to be holding his breath.

“Oh…okay…uh, do you have like a boyfriend or something…”   
  
Eddie shook his head and then looked over at Richie. It was the most nervous he had ever seen him. Sure, he could tell the confidence was mostly a facade, but Eddie has never seen him so tense and so tight-lipped. He forgot how to speak because it threw him to see he was affecting the other man that much. Actually he didn’t even need to speak because Richie started rambling to fill the silence.

“M-maybe it’s none of my business! I can accept that, totally! Haha, uh like if this is just a misunderstanding that’s fine, I just…um…” he took a shaky breath. “You really do remind me of my friend. Not just…not just in like your sense of humor, but…I swear to god you _look_ like her, and when I talk to you I feel like I’m talking to her and when I’m around you it feels nice. I just…maybe it’s a little selfish, but I swear to god I was in love with her. I like you too! Don’t get me wrong, but…you make me feel better. I haven’t…haven’t felt this way about a person since she left, so…um…” he trailed off as Eddie smiled at him. “I should probably stop talking,” he said. Eddie laughed and shook his head.  
  
“You’re not crazy, Rich,” he assured him. Richie pointed at him and nodded as he stepped closer.

“Like that! She’d always call me Rich a-and she was snarky like you! Bouncy hair, adorable little laugh, and…” he looked down at Eddie. Richie had only gotten taller since they last saw each other in Derry. “…and big brown eyes…big brow eyes I could look at for like an eternity,” Richie said.

“Rich…” Eddie whispered.

“It’s just kinda fucking with me…because…because you’re _not _her. You’re _not _Ellie,” he said. Eddie touched his face and gave him a tight sympathetic smile.  
  
“I’m really sorry, Richie,” he said gently. Richie still looked confused, but more so in a way that looked like he couldn’t believe the conclusion he had reach in his own head. “I should’ve told you sooner, but…I was scared-“ Eddie’s voice hitched as Richie took his face in his hands and looked at him so closely. He could feel the other man’s breath on his lips, and it was so overwhelming.

“You can’t be…right? Unless…”

“I’m trans, Richie. I ran away so I could start my transition,” Eddie told him. Richie’s eyes went wide and he held his face closer and tighter.

“Ellie?” He whispered. Eddie nodded. “Ellie-nelly?”

“Fuck, don’t call me that,” Eddie sighed and tried to look away. Richie kept his head straight, but Eddie looked down as he caressed one of his hands on his cheek.

“Ellie-nelly Jelly belly?” Eddie groaned.

“Fuck _off_, Richie, you _know_ I don’t like it when you call me tha-“  
  
Eddie was cut off by a kiss, and he quickly grasped the material of Richie’s shirt to ground himself. He whimpered as he realized it was the first time he had ever been kissed by someone, and he was so happy Richie was the one to do it. It wasn’t short but it wasn’t crazy long either. Perhaps it wasn’t long enough, but it was sweet and deep and meaningful. When Richie pulled back he immediately engulfed Eddie into a hug, and Eddie could do nothing except hug him tighter and sniffle again.

“Fucking Christ, Eds. I thought you were fucking dead,” Richie said while giving him a hearty squeeze. Eddie let out a groan from the tightness, but appreciated the affection. He had craved it from Richie for so long, and he thought he’d never get to see him again.

“I’m so sorry, Richie. I should’ve called you,” he whispered.

“Yeah!” Richie agreed pulling back to look at him. “Fuck, were you trying to kill me? I thought maybe your mom did something to you and finally just chained you up in her basement! She told me to stop stalking outside the house and that you were gone,” he said. Eddie laughed at that.  
  
“I moved in with my aunt. She’s a little farther north,” he told him. Richie hugged him again and Eddie laughed as he was picked up and swung around.

“I thought I was going fucking nuts, dude! Y’know how trippy it was seeing you for the first time! Fuck, and you look so good too! I’m so fucking proud of you!” He continued and held him even tighter. Eddie nuzzled against Richie’s neck once he settled down and smiled.

“I missed you, Richie,” he whispered as he reached up to play with the curls that fell against his nape. Richie nuzzled him back and even pressed a kiss to his jaw.

“I missed you too…I wish I would’ve…fuck, I was too nervous to ask you before you left,” he sighed.

“Bev told me,” Eddie announced. Richie jumped back.

“Beverly knows! Before me!” Eddie looked at him sheepishly before nodding.

“But I told you before we were gonna tell everyone else,” he assured him.

“Fuck, and she told you about-“

“About you planing on asking me out? Yes, she did,” he said with a smile. Richie blushed and scratched the back of his head.

“Ah, shit…well uh…I guess it was easy enough to tell from everything I’ve already said to you that I kinda wanna date you,” he mumbled. Eddie giggled and took his face in his hands.  
  
“I’d love it if you took me out on a date, Richie,” he hummed before giving him a kiss. Richie smiled at that and kissed him again.  
  
“It would be my pleasure, Eddie spaghetti,” he said. Eddie groaned.  
  
“You’re the worst.”

**Author's Note:**

> Follow my insta @ zehhhhhhhvier (7 h’s)


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